6/24/16

First Aid Kit - My Silver Lining

"My Silver Lining"


I don't want to wait anymore I'm tired of looking for answers
Take me some place where there's music and there's laughter
I don't know if I'm scared of dying but I'm scared of living too fast, too slow
Regret, remorse, hold on, oh no I've got to go
There’s no starting over, no new beginnings, time races on
And you've just gotta keep on keeping on
Gotta keep on going, looking straight out on the road
Can't worry 'bout what's behind you or what's coming for you further up the road
I try not to hold on to what is gone, I try to do right what is wrong
I try to keep on keeping on
Yeah I just keep on keeping on

I hear a voice calling
Calling out for me
These shackles I've made in an attempt to be free
Be it for reason, be it for love
I won't take the easy road

I've woken up in a hotel room, my worries as big as the moon
Having no idea who or what or where I am
Something good comes with the bad
A song's never just sad
There's hope, there's a silver lining
Show me my silver lining
Show me my silver lining

I hear a voice calling
Calling out for me
These shackles I've made in an attempt to be free
Be it for reason, be it for love
I won't take the easy road

I won't take the easy road
The easy road, the easy road

Show me my silver lining, I try to keep on keeping on
Show me my silver lining, I try to keep on keeping on
Show me my silver lining, I try to keep on keeping on
Show me my silver lining, I try to keep on keeping on



All I want now is going home and get some sleep ......

6/23/16

Belated Celebration Birthday Girls

Apart from I'm smaller than her, we are almost the same in everything. We were born in the same year and the same month and the same love story lol
 

6/22/16

A Child of A Genocide Victim

Life goes on!

Today, I went to Meta House alone to watch the documentary on "Enemies of the People".  The documentary filmed by a British and a Cambodia journalist for 10 years project. They filmed and interviewed with the Khmer Rough leader Noun Chea and other three former Khmer Rough soldiers and the killers. 

One of the killers said that there was  a time during killing people, there was a girl who was a garment worker. She was so pretty and white skin. She begged him to spare her life and asked him if he would let her to live with him. He said, "if you had to live with me, you had to live with me the whole life". She replied yes. But, the other killer told him to kill her and he did. During the interview, his eyes are full of guilt and confused. This makes me feel very uncomfortable and couldn't find words to describe. 

After watching this documentary again, as a child of a civil war victim it leaves me many questions. 

It really makes me so confused about who the Angkar (Organization) is! What if there were no Khmer Rough, would we lose Cambodia to Vietnam and Thailand? What if Noun Chea and Pol Pot knew something really bad to Cambodia and they were right? What if Vietnam wanted to take over Cambodia? 

What if all these thing above were correct and what if Khmer Rough did not have to kill people? Cambodia would be like North Korea. 

Both my parents and the next generation do not care what really happened in the past and they do not try to understand.  People say life goes on! But, mine never goes on that easy.

Enemies_of_the_people.jpg

6/21/16

The Sound of Rain

When I was standing by at my tiny and empty balcony, I was thinking of those old memories that I both treasure and wish to forget sometime. BUT I can't just yet!
 
I am one of those people smile when it rains :)
***That's the view from my balcony***
***just ignore the messy table and focus on the these beautiful light ***

6/14/16

Rath - be better!

When you are alone, your mind goes on and on and on... All I want is just to see the world with my little feet and my the biggest heart 😎
 
 
But recently, what bother me the most is that how could a friend who used to care about you so so so much from head to toes. But, slowly they just erased you from their lives completely. Even you had traveled half the world away to see them, they just don't give a damn about it. I'm just a stupid little human being as always. This still hunts me and leave me in unexplainable blank space. How could a good friend ghost you? ghosting aren't supposed to only love things? Plus, you cannot get any explaination... Except to accept the terrible reality! I have many nightmares and good dream about them...

How could this mini human have to face all this shit ALL THE TIME? 

But, I am still very proud of myself that I have through so many terrible things within the last two years and I still manage to stay strong and alive. Bravo Rath! 
 

6/8/16

Second Video about Solo Traveller

I was trying to film a video again and nothing is easy!!! i need to learn a lot if i want to do more video in the future. Maybe i really should since i got my Gopro.

video
I think it takes time to be comfortable in front of a f camera even you are alone... when i am nervous normally, i speak fast and ... yes bad English for sure.

I hate making a video - I hate making a video - I hate making a video!!! 

6/5/16

The reality hits me so hard recently! not that because i am older its because this is who i am and who i will be!

i know i will walk the path where not many people will choose but i am ready for this. i have to learn spending less and have a cheap hobby.

this is it!

5/31/16

Filming a video about my solo Europe trip - Second Attempt Failed T.T

I talked to the camera for more than 30mn but the video turned out to be only 3mn!!! God damn it!
Just give a try next time!

video
Here is my failure video... if you like to see it!

That is the face after talking to the camera for 30mn and it didn't work T.T





5/25/16

Poland

Old town in Warsaw!!!

I was walking in the old town here and suddenly it rains as expected. So here I am at this cute and expensive cafe shop that has no internet. Maybe it's good for me to concentrate and enjoy the view of old town. (How old?) 

I was sitting in front this chubby American guy who I thought he was a solo travel like me. But, hmm nope his gf just returned from wc!  


Back in the busy hostel but feel empty to me. After walking 6 or 7h I was like f*, m gonna dress up a little bit and will have a nice dinner. So I did it at a very cozy nice rest about mn walk from the hostel. 

I order beef with salad Sth and it came out burger beef with this giant meat! I love the Serbian tea so much omg!!!

When you're alone, your mind goes on and on and on... I noticed another chubby American man starring at me a few times and I noticed he seems not really interesting in women according to his gesture and he had a ring (maybe with his bf). Either way he either married or gay. 

There was a young lady sitting alone like me. But, she seemed to wait for her date but he never shows up. She gave me a glance look when she left her table. 


Me??? I read my book and drink my new discovery tea :)  

Wait!!! It's not finished... I couldn't find any single SOLO TRAVELER!!! Where are they??? All death??? Married? Have children? No more traveling ??? Ugh... I'm the only tiny Asian girl and often got this stared eyes not in a bad way though. 
shooot!!! i have a lot shit to deal back home i gonna flight sooner than i expected! the dream vacation is about to end :)

5/18/16

The day in The Hague

I cannot believe this I've been in Europe for 9 days already. And I have seen so much more than I expected! 

Wake up one day I am in Europe, sound like a dream come true 😁 I won't go detail about my trip. 

I love the experience of going around town eating new food and have had a lot of sandwich haha cuz I always have to catch buses or trains to differences. I did have some formal lunch and dinner and well that cost money! 

I have met almost all my super long lost friends from 9years to 7years this is crazy! I do miss them and they do still remember this tiny friend 😁

Now I'm sitting in a random restaurant near where I stay with my friend while writing for my blog. I couldn't ask for me!