When Life Throws Spanners: A Mid-Career Reckoning

 Today was one of those days. You know the kind – the ones that make you want to throw your hands up and scream into a pillow. I found myself in a heated argument, and if you recall my previous mentions of "Mr. A," well, let's just say it was with his better half. My love life, it seems, continues its streak of spectacular timing and complicated entanglements. It’s almost comical, if I weren’t the one living it.

But that wasn’t the only storm cloud today. Our new boss, who is Indian, and I haven't exactly seen eye-to-eye since his first day. It feels like I’ve been here a thousand times before, navigating another toxic environment, dealing with the same old professional frustrations. For a while, I was genuinely upset, the kind of upset that sits heavy in your chest.

Then, a moment of clarity. A quiet, albeit firm, internal voice reminded me of a crucial privilege: I can quit this job in six months. This realization didn't make the immediate situation pleasant, but it certainly took the edge off the despair. More importantly, it served as a powerful wake-up call. Life is finite, and my time on this earth is not limitless. I've allowed my long-held dream of moving abroad to gather dust, pushing it to the back burner because of other commitments. That ends now.

It's time to make it happen, one way or another.

My first thought is to approach my "big boss" about a secondment opportunity in Vietnam or Malaysia. It's a long shot, but worth exploring to gain international experience within a familiar structure. If that doesn't materialize, my next hope rests on academia. I've been eyeing LLM programs in Europe, particularly those offering scholarships. With my savings currently tied up in property that I can't liquidate, a scholarship would be crucial.

This isn't just about escaping a difficult situation; it's about giving that dream of working abroad another real, concerted try. Ultimately, I aspire to work with organizations like the World Bank or other international bodies. The goal isn't just a change of scenery or a new challenge, but a genuine desire to contribute, to use my skills to truly make the world a better place.

Today was tough, but it stripped away complacency. It reminded me that some things are worth fighting for, even if that fight means charting an entirely new course. The path ahead might be uncertain, but the destination feels clearer than ever.