too little too stubborn!

i already took one week off to be well prepare for the coming day of leaving everyone! I thought i could peacefully work on some reading but i cannot concentrate. I'm all alone at a net cafe again and again where i used to be very lonely reading and preparing scholarship, and same old feeling is coming back to me, it makes me so freaking scared of world of loneliness T.T

I just want to show him that i strongly have commitment, not just giving him hard time but i am fail again and again i make everyone i love disappointed :( i am just little too stubborn. I only demand, and forget to care about other feeling!

I don't want only a small argument ruins our happy time... i want to be a real adult! real responsible! and real woman!

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